The following is a conversation between 7Sage Writing Coach Shamala Gallagher and 7Sage Admissions Advisor Lida Roman.
Shamala: Say I’m a rising eleventh grader and I don’t know what to do for my college apps. I haven’t done anything yet. But the thing is, I’m really hoping I get into Stanford. Am I screwed?
Lida: Well, no, but let me tell you what not to do.
Shamala: Okay, what shouldn’t I do?
Lida: Here is what’s not the way to go. You’re thinking, oh, I haven’t done anything for my college apps, but I hear I should. So let me join this club and this club, and let me try to do this leadership, and let me try to create this app. And let me start doing math tutoring, and let me see if I could do some sort of science fair. Let me throw all this in a pot.
Shamala: Oh, because that doesn't work well. That looks like just a handful of scattered things?
Lida: Yes. That does not work at all. I wouldn't even say it doesn't work well. I would say it doesn't work at all.
Shamala: Oh.
Lida: I would say it's very obvious to folks that are reading, and it's not even going to advance to the committee phase because it's just not going anywhere.
Shamala: That makes sense. But okay, so if I am this eleventh grader, and I’m not screwed, what’s the saving grace?
Lida: The good news is you have one more year to apply.
And then the second good news is I'm sure you've done a lot. You just might not know it yet. You just really need to sit down and think about it. Starting in, say, sixth grade or maybe even a little bit earlier, what have I done? You know, what have I been interested in? Maybe I spent two years skateboarding, and I created a little skate club. Maybe I didn't call it a club, but clearly that's what it is because I invited my friends and we met on Sundays.
In addition, maybe I’ve already created or led something in my church or my mosque. Or maybe I’ve written a piece for school that really matters to me. And at this point, I likely have interests. Maybe I have a deep commitment to writing, or the classics, or ancient history.
Now I start to think of these things as parts of what we in college consulting companies call a persona. I ask myself, what’s one sentence that would describe me? “I am a computer science kid that loves building apps to make health care more accessible for first-generation Americans.” Or something like that.
Shamala: Yes! So I need a one-sentence story of who I am, something memorable.
Lida: Yes! Then, I build on that in my eleventh grade and the summer before twelfth grade. I find more activities in line with my story, and I start to think about impact—how have I helped others? As I do that, I also think about rigor: how difficult are the classes within my school, and have I exhausted all the difficult courses? If I have, can I sign up for courses at a community college that deepen my one-sentence story?
Shamala: Okay, great! That makes sense. New question. Do you have a favorite application you read when you were reading for Stanford?
Lida: I do. I remember one favorite and several, but one in particular. A kid, actually, from your area of the world [living in the American Southeast]. He was recently arrived in this country, I think, maybe four years. A lot of poverty in the family. Incredibly, incredibly intelligent student. He rode to school two hours by bicycle because his family had put him in a farther-away district that was much stronger for him academically. They didn’t have the money for him to get to school any other way. During summers, dad would work through the following year’s curriculum with him, so he was always prepared in advance. That applicant to me always stood out because there was no complaint. He wasn't complaining. He was just saying, hey, here's my life, and here's what I do to get around what's difficult. And it was just a really powerful, powerful self-presentation.
Shamala: That’s interesting. It was the matter-of-fact tone that made him so compelling?
Lida: Yes. A lot of grit. However, I saw incredible applications at every economic level, even from kids with wealthy parents who go on ski trips every year. They said, here's how I struggled with something and overcame it, or here's how I learned something.
Shamala: That makes a lot of sense to me. A good college application is not about whether you’re rich or poor. It’s about the voice of the personality that comes through. On the other hand, do you have a pet peeve in applications?
Lida: I do, and I want to ask you about it, Shamala. Sometimes I come across essays that are vague, meaning they don't say anything. What’s going on with those? Reading those, I wonder, what’s my takeaway? Those essays to me are such a missed opportunity to make connections in the application, to continue to build that one-sentence story.
Shamala: I can think of two kinds of essays that fit this pet peeve, and maybe you're talking about both of them. One is where there is a story, but there’s no why.
Lida: Exactly, there’s no why!
Shamala: This kind of essay has a specific topic—their love for baseball, or their mom’s cooking––but it’s missing what you're supposed to have learned about the applicant and why you should admit them.
Lida: Right!
Shamala: Those essays could benefit from more brainstorming, writing or talking through why they are telling the story, why it stuck with them.
But the second kind of vague essay is worse. It says nothing at all. It contains vague pronouncements and platitudes—"Society works well when we work together”—or things like that. I’ve taught many elementary college writing classes, and I have realized that when people first start writing essays, they think vague writing is good writing. They seem to believe that if you make generalizations, you have more impact. But actually, this writing has less impact because it is so broad.
A related error is that sometimes people inflate their language with big words, try out their version of academic language, thinking it's going to be better writing. But it turns out worse--they should instead stick with language that is vivid and real to them to start with. If they want to grow their vocabulary, they can do it, eventually, through reading—college will be awesome for that. But you don't need a huge vocabulary in order to create vivid writing. You just need to say something real and true to you.
Lida: That's exactly what I experienced reading for Stanford. I read very simple essays that were incredibly memorable. These were essays that really touch you at an emotional level by kids that are doing amazing things or thinking and doing in amazing ways.
Shamala: Yeah. You know what I think? I think that when you're talking about how the student needs to develop their one sentence persona, I think that what we're really looking for is just—their real self. The person they truly are. They don’t have to be anyone else in order to be admitted into an elite college.
Lida: That’s right. Also, I want to say that it’s okay for students to be works in progress. They don’t need to have their life all planned out. Some students know they want a BA/JD and then a whiteshoe law firm, for example, and that’s great for them. But if you're 17, if you're 18, if you're 19, you don't have to have that road map. You're a work in progress, and the college wants to support you in getting there.
Shamala: And even schools like Stanford or Harvard are looking for a lot of different people, a diverse entering class. So you don’t have to fit anyone else’s mode.
Lida: Yes. They’re looking to build a class that is unique, one student from the other. The schools are building their own microcosm of the larger world in their entering class, and they know that the larger world is very diverse.
Shamala: When you look at it that way, anyone has a chance to belong.
